In Ancient Egypt this was a cult centre for the Nile gods. These rocks really look like a herd of elephants, bathing in the river.

“You can see why they call this Elephantine Island. Rolling her eyes, the presenter rewound herself. The director’s temper flared with each intrusion. They’d staked their claim to the Temple of Khnum, but kids kept sneaking through the police cordon to ruin the shoot. Across the river, a sinuous Corniche: sooty concrete and honking cars, the cacophony of Aswan. Mayan altars in rainforests, Nazi U-boat pens dug into mountains – and now a sun-baked island of mud houses and dusty palms, swarming with children, goats and flies. PROLOGUE Aswan, southern Egypt, 10am A jaded crew, they’d seen it all. Prologue 1 Outbound 2 Hurghada 3 Hosni Basha 4 Hitting the G-spot 5 Yasmina 6 Losing the plot 7 The hen will pay us! 8 Tariq’s rifle 9 Keep buggering on 10 The Siq 11 A lost donkey chase 12 Rubbish people 13 Colonel Avi’s apotheosis 14 Hunting with Cobras 15 Nancy’s ark 16 Salvation First 17 Hitler’s brains 18 The savannah 19 Dune with an Engine 20 Exegesis 21 Yo, Nick 22 Shrek 23 The zar 24 Alf mabruk! 25 Show me how to click 26 Shrek 2 27 Yajooj 28 Jihad does it 29 The Liar’s Teeth 30 Pigeon night 31 The Gospel according to Kreutzer 32 Abu Simbel 33 Revelations 34 God’s zombies 35 Gog Notes & Glossary That doesn’t mean it wasn’t factual at the time. Something that’s factual at this moment proves not to be factual in retrospect.

Copy editing by Daniel Jacobs Cover design by Ivan Listo The book is published and digitally distributed by Avantoure UK Ltd Contacts Contact author: Contact publisher: Contact designer: īut thou, O Daniel, shut up the words and seal the book, even to the time of the end many shall run to and fro, and knowledge shall be increased.

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